"Makes you think a little...."

Have you ever had those moments where something happens you had a dream about or thought about something and you go " WOAH!  That's so weird!"

Last Monday was one of those days.

I got home Sunday night from a music convention in Yakima, WA.  I got home and my roommate was watching the show "I survived."  It was a guy who was held hostage in a box for 6 months.  The guy on the TV instantly jolted my memory.  It looked just like a man who was my neighbor when I was little.  He was like a second grandfather to me.  He was from Hungry, had grayish, silver hair and a beard; and a strong accent.  I said out loud without thinking "Holy cow!  That looks just like Albert !"  I told my roommate all about my childhood with him: how he would always have candy, I remembered their house and all of his stories about Hungry and I thought to myself "hmm, I wonder how he is doing."

That next morning I was talking to my mom and she said she just found out that morning that he had killed himself.  My heart just sunk and tears started pouring from my face.  I didn't even know why.  I felt incredibly guilty about not keeping in very good contact with him.  Would that have saved him?  It was so heavy to think about.  My mom said "It was sooo strange.  I kept feeling the need to get in touch with him.  I said last week we need to contact him.  Didn't get around to trying to call until today.  There was no answer so she e-mailed his ex-wife's niece.  She e-mailed right back saying he shot himself last week.  My mouth dropped.  No way.  This is too weird.

I told her about what I saw on TV and she couldn't believe it.  If it wasn't enough of a coincidence, she was just recently telling my dad that she believe's there are no hunches in life.  We need to heed that feeling, whether it's a thought of someone or a fear of something, it's meant to be taken seriously.

I thought about the coincidence all day long.  How bizarre is this situation?  I saw something on TV that made me think about this man I haven't seen in years and it happened to my mom at the exact same time.  Makes you a wonder a tad... eh?

To top it off, two of my friends told me their grandparents had passed away.  Man oh man.  What is going on?

When it rains, it pours.... I guess.

This whole situation made me really sit and think about the people we come across in life.  Even after they've gone, do they still send us messages through the TV and through our hearts?  Sure seemed like it last Monday.  Bottom line:  Tell people you love them, think of them often, keep in touch with them and above all trust your instincts about them.

R.I.P. Albert-I will miss you and I wish I got to see you one last time.  I wanted to thank you for all of the good times, lessons, smiles, laughs and chocolate candy. =)  Love you!  Go in peace.

The Meaning of Valentine's Day

First off I'd just like to say THANK YOU!!  For over 1,000 views!!  This is so awesome!

Anywaaaaayz!  Obviously you can guess what this post will be about.

Stuck?  Ok, it's Valentine's Day!

But this wasn't just any V-Day.  What happened on this one, I will never forget.

Michael and I don't have very much money so I knew our gifts and celebration would be marginal.  I made a crock pot stew and we were planning to relax and play Nintendo!

Pretty cool!

Well, I had a series of events happen to me on the way home that just absolutely destroyed my mood.  I saw guys buying flowers at the store.  My present for Michael was way more than I expected.  I had a scholarship to fill out that night and I was hungry, tired, smelly and just beat right down to my socks.

Now, something you should all know about me, if I am hungry and/or tired, I don't really rationalize very well and that is exactly what happened.

Earlier that day, Michael surprised me with a beautiful, handmade card that he put up on my music locker.  When I saw it I was grinning from ear to ear, tears starting to well up in my eyes.  It was incredibly unique and special!  But later on that night I saw all of the flower posts and chocolate posts and gifts and surprises on Facebook.  My mind started to tumble and I kept thinking more and more about it.  I thought to myself  "you sack of ****!  You don't even like flowers! What is your problem?  He made you an incredibly special gift showing you he loves you dearly!"  Obviously it showed because he forced it out of me and I couldn't hold it in any longer.  After I told him, it was like some just stabbed me in the stomach.  Why on earth would I say that to him?  Why did he make me say it?  I would have gotten over it if he would have just left me alone!!  I was so ashamed and so heartbroken about my actions.  To think that Michael didn't view his gift as good enough literally tore me to shreds.  It all came into the light as soon as I said it out loud; how foolish it was, how selfish; how ignorant and ungrateful I was.  I truly loved his gift.  The art was amazing and the message makes me smile every time and he made it from the kindness of his heart.

But instead of walking away or yelling at me.... you know what he did.... he looked at me...saw I was devastated about what I said...walked over to me...held me in his arms...and said "it's ok, honey... It's not your fault.  Don't worry about it.  I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day."

It was at that moment I realized the true meaning of Valentine's Day.  It's not for flowers, chocolates or presents but to remember those who truly care for you even when you are being a total bitch! =)  Be thankful you have a Valentine.  Someone who loves you at your best and even more when you're at your worst.  His loving grace and forgiveness made it the most treasured and most humbling Valentine's Day ever!

I don't have lots of money,

But what I can give you,

Is lots of love and support

And a Lego Millenium Falcon... (someday)

Love, Michael =)

Thanks sweetheart! =)

Happy Valentine's Day! 

Favorite Part of this Movie

2 years! =)

Dear Michael,

2 years... That's a long time if you think about it

A lot can happen in 2 years and by golly that's just how it is.

Over the course of 2 years, we have been through some trying ordeals.  Each of us having our own personal challenges in discovering how to be in a relationship.  We've had amazing times and some terrible times but the fact that we have worked through them together is incredibly special.  We have both grown so much in 2 years.  It's like knowing a different person everyday.  You have been so wonderful; words can't even describe how grateful I am to have you in my life.  You've been incredibly caring, patient, sincere, funny, willing, dedicated, happy and above all, loving me for who I am.  I don't tell you often enough how appreciative I am for all of your hard work, dedication and love.  Someone like you doesn't come around everyday and your love cannot be taken for granted.  I learn from you everyday, you inspire me and you make me want to become the best person I can be.  Thank you!  I love you so much!  Here's to a wonderful 2 years and many, many more! =)

Love,

  Your biggest fan,

        Megs =)

P.S. - We are goofy!!

=)

The Future

As I was sitting in conducting this morning, our teacher handed us small sections of paper.  On the paper was observations he had written about our conducting.  He gave me a wonderful compliment and I had a sudden jolt of inspiration.  I could maybe succeed conducting.  It comes naturally to me.  But I want to go into music therapy.  How can I apply conducting to that field?

One thing I like about the area of music therapy is it seems so versatile.  There are so many areas in which music therapy can be applied.  And then it came to me.

I want to conduct an ensemble, but not just any ensemble.  I want to create a rehabilitation center (or start my own program in a rehab center) for people with terrible drug and alcohol addictions and mental issues.  Treatment would be through the education of music.  I would begin to teach them basics.  Notes, key signature, albums, genres, songs, history, rhythm, musicality... the works.  My head is in the clouds right now in terms of dreams and possibilities.  I could do this.  This could work.  I'm off to a good start.

My goal is to be nationally know for the success of the treatment center and have an article written in some magazine about myself and the program and all of the people who have recovered.

Yup.

I found it.  This is what I want to do...

What do you think?? =)

The Subject of Music

*WARNING*

*swear words will be used in this post* LOL

So 4 hours is a long time if I'm not mistaken

Just a heads up, I'm not sure where this post will lead, but this is where it's starting.

So back to 4 hours.... This is how long 3 of my friends have been talking about music.  Basically everything about it, too.  Recording, genres, corporate industry, self-employed labels, careers, pretty much anything you could touch on.

But seriously, why do you have to be so fucking critical.  Just give it a rest.

I'm all for deep discussion, but this is getting a tad ridiculous.

Why are you making music so damn complicated?  That is the beauty of music.  It's simple.  Everybody can connect with music.  Everyone can relate.  We love it.  Of course, musicians realize and have faced the fact that not much money is to be made solely on a performance career.  But we're ok with that.  Why?  Because we love music.  That's why we do what we do.

And who are you to say something is good or isn't good?  Who is anyone to say  that?  If I recall, that's what makes opinions and shapes peoples views, is their ability to express what they like.  Why does everyone have to like the same shit?  It really irritates the shit out of me when someone says "oh ya, that's crap.  That ain't music."  Seriously, STFU.  Say it in your brain, I don't care.  But why do you have to trash on what I like just because it doesn't meet your standards.  Ever heard of just letting it go?? Can't you just take pride in what you believe in and not shove it down everyone's throat??

I've taken the past couple months to really get into jazz.  I have never been a big fan of jazz but I have been really trying to get to know the language.  I tried and tried but nothing was interesting me.  Until yesterday, I went to the library and just typed in "Jazz" in the library search bar.  I found a CD by Bobby McFerrin.  Last thing on earth I would have expected to fall in love with.  I have been listening to this CD non stop.  I love it.  It was something new.  Something I found exciting and catchy. It probably connects with me completely differently than it connects with someone else.  That is what music is!!  You can't force someone to like a specific type, song, band of music!  The person has to discover it for themselves and maybe they never will.  And that's ok.  That's why there are bagillions of genres out there.  That's why we have this thing called personalities.  And why does a person have to be called ignorant if they don't know much about music?  Again, this goes back to my claim about music.  It's simple.  EVERYONE can connect in some point or another.  Even if a person has never been to and orchestra concert, it will evoke some kind of emotion, thought process or reaction, regardless about how much they know about music.  That is the power and function of music.  Don't add insult to music, dumb ass.  

I'm getting really sick of some people portraying incessantly that what they say is right and that the genre they like is the only "good" type of music.  Just run with it.  Try finding something GOOD about every song you hear instead of ripping it to shreds.  This is why people are insecure.  This is why people are afraid to be outspoken.  This is why people are self-conscious about their ability as a musician.  Stop being so critical.  And get over your snobbery.  Just go with the flow.  Be true to what you like and what engages you but don't be a dick about it.  For example, it just totally depends.  If it has a catchy groove? I'm in.  If it has a cool melody or inspiring chord progression?  Heck ya!  Even if it makes me stop and go "oooo what's that??"  Then hey, it's worth a little bit of my time.  I grew up with soundtracks.  It is my favorite thing to listen to.  Ya sure, people make fun of it, saying it's simple or no musical integrity.  Whatever dude, it benefits me so I really could care less what you say.  It makes me feel, it makes me relax, it lets my mind wander and explore new areas and ideas.  I'm not a big reader but honestly, the way I formed good writing skills, comprehension skills, and creative ideas is from sitting in my room, listening to soundtracks, just thinking and formulating thoughts in my head. 

So, this is my long rant and opinion.  If you disagree?  Fine.  That's ok with me.  I have my opinion and you have yours and that's what makes the world go 'round.

Thank You!!

800 VIEWS!!

I just want to send out a big thank you to everyone who reads my blog!! =)